On Enemies

Old me is almost gone.

Change started roughly 3 years ago, and though I intend to keep changing with every breath the parts of me that I didn’t like are almost all taken care of. It’s been one hell of a roller-coaster, guys, the process has been amazing.

What didn’t I like? Mostly the fact that I wasn’t getting dirty enough. In every sense you can imagine.

Life is short, play in the rain.

Most of the changing process has been intended, but it is still funny that I notice change, or evolution, most frequently by reflection, by outside feedback.

And while I get people liking me more the way I am now, I also get to make enemies – it is now part of the equation too. It’s only natural: I say what I mean and I do what I say, and I can’t please everyone. Among the displeased people, a few will get pretty pissed. Here is a very good way to sum it up, and it was one of the most important lessons I have learned:

No Enemies, by Claude McKay

You have no enemies, you say?
Alas, my friend, the boast is poor.
He who has mingled in the fray of duty
that the brave endure, must have made foes.
If you have none,
Small is the work that you have done.

You’ve hit no traitor on the hip.
You’ve dashed no cup from perjured lip.
You’ve never turned the wrong to right.
You’ve been a coward in the fight.

Halfway-through assessment

Can you believe we’re already halfway-through 2009? Holy macaroni.

Time to do an assessment over my Resolutions for this year. Oh dear, just looking at them makes me go eeek… OK, here we go:

• Gain at least 15kgs of weight: uh oh, epic failure on the horizon. I’m at the exact same point I was half a year ago;
• Medium goal: I’ll leave this one for later :-);
• Read at least half an hour a day: Nope, I haven’t. I’ve read more so far than in the past couple of years, that I’m sure of, but not at this pace;
• Travel: So far so good – I did go to Berlin, and I’ve done some tripping in Portugal as well. We’ll see how the rest of the year goes, I’m not so sure I’ll be able to visit the US anymore;
• Psychology: Hmn, I didn’t look into it any more seriously than I did before. I’m reading a really good book on body language at the moment – not that it fits into the psychology category, but my point with psychology is really to understand us better so… yeah;
• Social circle: Right-o, I’m on it! I have to anyhow, more on that in a bit;
• Set up a steady business in SecondLife: bah, no, I want to spend my time in there – which has become pretty short – having fun and meeting people. If a good (great) idea does come up I’ll probably elaborate on it, but I won’t be forcing something out.

That doesn’t look too good, does it? What have I done then?

Well, remember the medium goal? About taking charge, doing what I wanted to do? I did that.

I wasn’t happy with the work I was doing. I (humbly) refused an offer to keep doing what I was doing. I spoke out, I was heard, and I was offered a different kind of job. I liked it, I took it, and I love it so far!

Also, it made me move. I’m in another town now, baby, and guess what – I like it!

Also, I’m living “alone” (technically I have flatmates).

Also, it’s making me get off my ass and meet new people.

In fact, it’s time to go do just that, so I’ll just publish this without more thought. It doesn’t really need a conclusion anyhow. Later, gator!

Hypocrite alert, hypocrite alert

Almost a year past since my decision to stop eating meat, I’m proud to say this: haven’t touched it meanwhile. But, but, there’s a catch.

I still eat fish. Rationale: oh well since I’m back to my parents’ it’ll be too much trouble for them to make two special meals for me (they usually balance with a meat lunch and fish dinner). Guess what happens out of thinking that way – I’m no longer at my parents’, and even though I’m in total control of what I do or do not eat and have options, I’ve been eating fish nonetheless.

So I’m on the train back “home” and decided to watch another one of those “shock and awe” videos on animal abuse, similar to the one that made me open my eyes to all this in the first place, but this time oriented towards sea animals. Check it out at goveg.com, “Top three reasons not to eat fish”, or follow this link. I have to say I’m skeptical in what concerns all the mercury hype – I’m obviously not saying it’s not true, it just sounds hypeish, I’ll need to look into it – but it doesn’t really matter anyhow, the video had me at reason #1. It’s just cruel.

Ok, so what am I going to do about it? Simple – no more fish eating when I have the choice. About time to a) cook ;-) and b) start sucking up those mushrooms. And when I don’t have the choice? Oh I’ll use that opportunity to make some propaganda.

Goodbye, codfish and the likes. You were good.

These are a few of my favorite things

September 26th, 2007

I’m a sucker for defining moments. Like when I hear a tune for the first time and suddenly realize it’s going to be one of my favorite tunes.

Or like when I meet someone new and have the instant feeling they’ll become very special.

June Somethingsomethingth (?), 2008

September 22nd, 2008:

Guys,

I hope you’re all doing great!

I’m fine, although I’ve been staying up all night and sleeping in the morning for a few days, something’s wrong with my sleep cycle.

Tonight I decided to run through all my photos. I thought it would be depressing, but this is photo 130 and to be honest I’m having a LOT of fun. Don’t be scared of doing the same – we spent great times together, we associated eachother’s faces to great feelings, looking at these photos is only making me smile more and more!

But I decided to write on this one, especially.

You know why?

Go back to that first photo of us four, in the first few days of Erasmus. :-)

See what I mean? :-) Just look at us, in the beginning, then in the end. Remember how much we experienced, shared. Look at how we had just met, then look at how we seem to be accomplices in the most exciting crime… LIFE.

I love you guys :-)

A vision from the other life

I’m bored on the train back home, and just realised that this place needs more images!

Well, the bad news is I haven’t really been taking many photos lately.

Not in real life at least :-) So yeah, here are some shots from my Second Life.

First of all, that's virtual me

and this is my ship/home, Passarola, the Lazy Bastard

That's how the sky and water can look like

We're leaving on a jet cow, don't know when we'll be back... meow.

What?

Was going to do a photo work of this park, can't remember why I didn't

And that's enough for the time being ;-)

Unnecessary stuff

Just got my tired ass back home from a weekend in Berlin. I wanted to write this real quick, it’s bugging me since I turned around from the last goodbyes to the complete wreck that was my subsequent trip back home (don’t ask):

I’m not sure if I ever wrote about not worrying much about things that are not worth it, but even if I did, the angle is different this time anyhow – most of the times when you’re doing something that induces stress in someone else, you really have no reason to be doing so, and you’d feel gutted if you knew how that may change that person’s day or week or… life.

I’m tired, so that paragraph above probably made as much sense as TV static. OK, example:

Some time ago I was driving back home from work, and some chick did some weird maneuver on a roundabout, in front of me. I honked. Right after was when I realized I was well on my way to losing all the Zen-ish attitude I’d happily acquired. Why the hell did I honk? Sure, she did something dumb, but I had plenty of time to react to her dumbness, and I did. I just had to use the damn honk though. Honking as a punishment, so that she’ll learn and not do it next time? Remember what I said about the time being now? She’s not a dog, and anyhow I bet she realized she’d done something wrong the moment she did it. The honk just stressed her up (I could see it on her face, main reason for me feeling off right after), and God knows what that drop of stress did to the rest of the stress cup. Seen the Benjamin Button movie? The part where they go through the trouble of describing the whole deal that led to Cate Blanchett being ran over by a car[*]? No, you give me a break, that is how shit happens.

Hah, you’ll probably think I’m in a bad mood, I’m not, it was a great weekend :-) Just a heads-up. Don’t do unnecessary stuff.

Keep it up!

[*] Edit: I actually got it for you, but do watch the movie if you haven’t. Here you go, the link to youtube and the transcript:

Sometimes we’re on a collision course, and we just don’t know it. Whether it’s by accident or by design, there’s not a thing we can do about it. A woman in Paris was on her way to go shopping, but she had forgotten her coat – went back to get it. When she had gotten her coat, the phone had rung, so she’d stopped to answer it; talked for a couple of minutes. While the woman was on the phone, Daisy [Cate] was rehearsing for a performance at the Paris Opera House. And while she was rehearsing, the woman, off the phone now, had gone outside to get a taxi. Now a taxi driver had dropped off a fare earlier and had stopped to get a cup of coffee. And all the while, Daisy was rehearsing. And this cab driver, who dropped off the earlier fare; who’d stopped to get the cup of coffee, had picked up the lady who was going shopping, and had missed getting an earlier cab. The taxi had to stop for a man crossing the street, who had left for work five minutes later than he normally did, because he forgot to set his alarm. While that man, late for work, was crossing the street, Daisy had finished rehearsing, and was taking a shower. And while Daisy was showering, the taxi was waiting outside a boutique for the woman to pick up a package, which hadn’t been wrapped yet, because the girl who was supposed to wrap it had broken up with her boyfriend the night before, and forgot.

When the package was wrapped, the woman, who was back in the cab, was blocked by a delivery truck, all the while Daisy was getting dressed. The delivery truck pulled away and the taxi was able to move, while Daisy, the last to be dressed, waited for one of her friends, who had broken a shoelace. While the taxi was stopped, waiting for a traffic light, Daisy and her friend came out the back of the theater. And if only one thing had happened differently: if that shoelace hadn’t broken; or that delivery truck had moved moments earlier; or that package had been wrapped and ready, because the girl hadn’t broken up with her boyfriend; or that man had set his alarm and got up five minutes earlier; or that taxi driver hadn’t stopped for a cup of coffee; or that woman had remembered her coat, and got into an earlier cab, Daisy and her friend would’ve crossed the street, and the taxi would’ve driven by. But life being what it is – a series of intersecting lives and incidents, out of anyone’s control – that taxi did not go by, and that driver was momentarily distracted, and that taxi hit Daisy, and her leg was crushed.

Take charge

Hey guys,

Remember me saying I had a new year resolution that I’d like to dedicate an entire post to? Well here we go:

It’s about doing what you want.

Those of you who know me better have definitely figured this out about me: I can’t do anything without motivation, but when I’m motivated there isn’t much stopping me.

Here’s what I found out: I do not need to do anything that doesn’t motivate me.

I can’t stress this enough: life is too short. Reconsider every sacrifice you think you are making. If it’s not being rewarding at the moment, it’s probably not worth it. For a better future, eh? Think about it. The time is now, and you are wasting it.

“Yeah, I wish I could spend my day laying on high green grass with a hat on my face and just fall asleep like that, but I’ve got to work for a living”. Not what I’m saying.

Is your work a chore? It shouldn’t be. It does not need to be, and you are in control. That’s about 8 hours, one third of your day, every day, every year of your life. Another third you spend asleep. Do you really just want to enjoy one third of your life? No. You better make your work rewarding then. What would you rather be doing for a living? OK, fair, that sounds cool actually :-). So, what’s stopping you?

Look, I know it’s not easy. But nothing is, and it does become a lot easier the moment you set your mind to it.

Don’t be afraid to say No. This goes back to my Christmas message – be willing to give away what you have. You don’t need it. If it’s stopping you from living your life to the fullest, you don’t want it.

Find what is the thing or things that you most enjoy doing. Focus on using your best skills the most and avoiding what you’re not so good at – you are just not tailored to do it, don’t force it. It’s better for you and everyone around you.

The time is now. Not one day in the future when things will be better. You do not need to toil.

Disclosure

@ the stalkers out there:

Hello :-) Thanks for the peak in pageviews you gave me on the 11th, now the normal people out there have a new score to beat: 53 pageviews in one day!

@ the normal people out there:

Hey guys :-) Sorry about that above, but don’t worry. Long time no post, but stay tuned as usual! So that this post isn’t completely superfluous, here’s something I’d like you to think about for a minute:

Can you think of anyone that you could have given any sort of motive to hold a grudge against you? Anyone, to whom you may have done anything bad? If so, genuinely apologize, now. Otherwise it’ll come back to bite you in the ass. After that, or if you couldn’t think of anyone, welcome to the club :-) and you know just as well as I do that you shouldn’t worry about a thing in this world. There will be haters, but just love them the same way.

Life is too goddamn short :-) Have fun!

It’s all about change

Hey guys,

Happy 2009 :-)

It’s late, and I gotta get up to work tomorrow morning. Something I totally don’t feel ready for at the moment, but like I always say, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. Anyway, I thought I’d share what my current list of New Year resolutions looks like.

By the way, if you’re having trouble setting goals, this (very) recent article at Kinowear.com sums up all the good advice I ever got about it. Do browse the rest of the articles while you’re at it, it’s a great source of information on style. If you’re a man, of course – women don’t need that sort of thing.

So, New Year resolutions. At least the ones I won’t keep to myself. Here we go:

• Gain at least 15kgs of weight. That’s right guys, I am saying this. I am an otherwise healthy guy, but the fact that I seem powerless when it comes to gaining weight messes with me a bit. I want to finally plow through that. Now, in all the search and failed attempts I had the opportunity to learn a lot about nutrition and physical activity, it has been very insightful. A little bit more than a kilogram a month is a perfectly attainable goal, and I think I’m finally ready to make a consistent attempt. This is my major goal for the year – telling you about it makes me accountable for it. If in a year from now I haven’t achieved this, it should be considered an epic failure;
• I have a medium goal as well, if there is such a thing, but I want to reserve a whole post for that. Stay tuned.
• As for smaller goals, to read at least half an hour a day without distractions is the first I listed. I’m not saying one hour for now because I currently can’t afford it, but in a couple of months that will change. As for a list of books I want to read, I have Fire in the Belly – On Being a Man, by Sam Keen on top, Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead next and I also want to tackle her magnum opus, Atlas Shrugged;
• Travel is another one. I’ll be in Berlin in April to see my Erasmus friends in what shall be a kick-ass reunion. Then in the summer I want to finally go visit my family in the US. It’s something I seem to postpone every year. In the winter I want to try skiing somewhere in the Alps.
• Nurture my interest for psychology. I want to finally read something on the subject – if you know of any good layman books, do let me know – and I’ll be taking the opportunity of having more and more psychologist friends coming into my social circle to have interesting conversations on it.
• Speaking of my social circle, I want to develop it. For example, I don’t think I have any friends in the world of art, and I’d love to.
• Finally, I want to set up a steady business in SecondLife. I have been researching in all tangents, and I have a few ideas I want to try out there. After a few failures, I’m sure I’ll find something I’ll love to do and that other people will find value in.

Alright, I’d better get some sleep. I won’t commit to anything because I know myself too well, but it crossed my mind to set writing here once a week as a goal. Oh well, you’ll hear from me again soon. Meanwhile have fun, whatever you do!

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells rock…

Merry Christmas! :-)

I know, I know, it’s been a long time! Can you believe I have four (!) drafts from as far as the beginning of November? Well I don’t expect you to, heh, but I do, really.

But I just had to leave a Christmas message for you guys :-) and the message is…

… GIVE!

I’m not just talking about the usual gifts. They kind of became something other than just giving, but I’m sure you are just as tired of hearing “Christmas has become this consumerism something-or-another blah blah blah” as I am. Not that I don’t agree with it, it’s just not what I’m saying.

I’m talking about giving value, people! Giving more of yourself!

Then you’ll notice you’ll start receiving much more than you usually do.

Do you think people smile often on the streets? They don’t, do they? Strangers don’t usually say hello when they pass by you, especially not in Portugal, right? Well try this:

You smile first.

As a matter of fact less than 15 minutes ago, on my way here, I confirmed that for the billionth time, I kid you not. (And she was cute too ;-) Oh I had to say that.) You’ll be surprised – most people smile back! I’d say 80%, on my experience. From those, a very big percentage doesn’t give you the best smile they’ve got. I add those to the 20% who don’t smile at all and explain it in a very simple way:

They’re not used to receive this way, uncompromised.

Most of us aren’t. I’m still not used to it, to be honest, sometimes I’m really surprised with random acts of kindness from other people. I shouldn’t be! But I’m just not used to it, and that’s sad.

So GIVE! And not just this season, come on, make it a habit.

Another very important thing I believe in is this:

You are only ready to receive something when you’re ready to give it away.

Think about it. Whatever it is, you don’t need it. The moment you think you need it is the moment when it starts being a bad thing for you. What do you really need in this life? You only have a limited amount of time to find air before things start looking grim for you, but you can go get food if you get hungry, you can go get shelter if it’s cold. I’m not saying “go caveman”, “go starve” or whatever, do you get my point? I’m not saying “give away all your possessions”.

I’m saying “be ready, hell, be eager to give them away”, at any time. Only when you feel ready to give something can you truly enjoy having it. Because you feel you don’t need it, you don’t depend on it.

Oh, almost forgot… don’t think “when I have it I’ll give it“. This is a symptom of what I was just talking about. I’m specifically talking about giving to charity here, you know very well that you’re lucky enough to have MUCH more than a LOAD of people out there.

Go out and do it :-) I’m sure you’ll feel great about it.

Merry Christmas to you all! I’ll hopefully get back to you soon, but have fun above all, meanwhile :-)